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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782475">Memories Can Hurt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenRogue/pseuds/GreenRogue'>GreenRogue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>In All their Angsty Hurt [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drabble, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sad Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Sam Winchester in Lucifer's Cage, it's a bad day guys, voicemail reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:21:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782475</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenRogue/pseuds/GreenRogue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A short shot of a day of torture for the one Sam Winchester</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>In All their Angsty Hurt [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Memories Can Hurt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Brief drabble, it's a bad day ya'll. I do not know SPN or the characters, I just like to play with them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“You do realize you mean absolutely nothing to the world, right Sam?” It was a bad day, a day or a bad year—Sam wasn’t quite sure anymore as he sat against the cold bars of the cage. The most recent trauma slowly healing as he took in ragged breathes. His skin felt itchy from the drying blood, and the numbing sting of lacerations twinged on the surface of his consciousness as he tried to drown out Lucifer.</p>
<p>“Everything you’ve done, every choice, path, decision you ever made—meant nothing in the end.” Lucifer is watching the knife he’s spinning in his hand, the occasional flash of steel makes Sam’s eye twitch in nervousness. His throat rasps as he fights back the urge to cough up the blood and phlegm he can feel blocking his airway. It’s a rare lull in torture, Lucifer seemingly bored with the most recent bout of flaying and carving. He’s taken to a chair that just happens to appear, sitting just off to the side in the semi-darkness. His red irises glow in between flashes of lightening. He waves his hand casually and Sam watches as a faded image of himself and Dean appear in front of him and for a moment, Sam feels a pang of longing.</p>
<p><em>‘You, Bobby, Cas—I’m the least of any of you.’ </em>Lucifer hums to himself as the image freezes. Sam closes his eyes in pain and tries to shift away from the ache the image in front of him presents.</p>
<p>“At least you knew your worth once, knew just how little you really mattered.” He’s standing now, looming over the shadowy image of Sam as he leers at the broken man in his cage. He leans against the image, knife slowly carving into the chest and Sam winces, feeling the ghostly pain against his own chest. “Though I must say—for a while there you were worth something weren’t you Sam—“ The devil snaps his fingers and Sam automatically flinches before opening his eyes. He’s facing Dean this time, a dull ache in his jaw.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone? How far from normal? From human?’</em>
</p>
<p>Sam winces and tries to look away. “Please—stop it”. The Dean in front of him continues, the heated hateful gaze piercing Sam’s heart.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘It’s already gone too far, Sam. If I didn’t know you—I would wanna hunt you.’ </em>
</p>
<p>He tries to breathe, really he does. He tries to turn away, to stop this forced jog down memory lane. But Lucifer is behind him now, cold breath against the nape of his neck, hands gripped in his hair as he forced Sam to watch Dean pace angrily in front of him. Forces him to relive the bitter moment when Sam knew he’d lost his brother for good.</p>
<p>Words from a voicemail forever engrained in his mind echo around the cage and in his bones. Lucifer releases Sam as he drops to his knees, hands covering his ears trying to blot out the loud hateful words.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Listen to me you bloodsucking freak. Dad always said I’d either have to save you or kill you. Well, I’m giving you fair warning. I’m done trying to save you. You’re a monster, Sam—a vampire. You’re not you anymore, and there’s no going back.’</em>
</p>
<p>Lucifer makes a tsking noise as he circles the trembling hunter, eyes glowing in contempt.</p>
<p>“Poor, poor Sammy Winchester. Not quite human, not quite monster, something in between that just.isn’t.worth.anything.” Hot tears trail down Sam’s cheeks as he grits his teeth and shakes his head violently. Lucifer just laughs as he meanders away, leaving Sam alone for the moment in the cold cage. The raging storm outside grows in intensity with the devils echoing laughter. Slowly Sam lowers himself to the rough floor and curls up into the smallest ball he can. Eyes closed tightly, he takes in another shuddering breath before exhaling slowly. He concentrates on a pair of green eyes, an easy smile, a black Impala—he focuses on the life he saved and tries to bury his crushing loneliness and despair for another night.</p>
<p>“Dean”.</p>
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